


knocked sideways

by napeepoopeta



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Crossposted on AFF, Light Angst, M/M, i miss jihan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/napeepoopeta/pseuds/napeepoopeta
Summary: In which Jeonghan is head over heels for Seungcheol and, as cliché as it may sound, Joshua is Jeonghan’s devoted best friend who always encourages him to fight for his love.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	knocked sideways

“Tell me again, why am I here flying with you and your dad’s employees to Tokyo when our high school friends are having a quality time together at the reunion party?” Joshua grunts as he takes his shades off and gets into the plane, a pouting Jeonghan following closely behind. The younger man has been complaining non-stop under his breath about having to skip the party ever since they stepped out of Jeonghan’s satin chrome red Lamborghini and walked into the departure terminal. All the praises from the stunned passersby about how charming they looked together went unheard, thanks to their small bickering.

Once they reach their seats in the first class as printed in the tickets, Jeonghan immediately turns his body to his best friend and juts his lower lip out more, showing what he highly hopes to be adorable puppy eyes. “Because we both will be the CEO of—”

“Your argument is invalid, darling.”

“—okay. Because we’re an item and I _know_ you’ll _never_ let me go through everything all by myself. I’m too precious.”

“Stop being so full of yourself, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Fine,” Jeonghan drags the _i_ sound and dramatically sighs like the drama queen he is. “Because you’re my best friend, Shua, and I know you know I can’t get anything done properly without your existence. Who knows I might embarrass my poor self at the Gala, right?”

“Says the one who always appears like a perfect future son-in-law at all the events. You’re always perfect.”

A big, bright grin quickly replaces the childish pout on Jeonghan’s face. He leans closer to Joshua who is now busy typing something on his phone, probably texting his dear mother that he is going somewhere with him. “You think so?”

“You know I’m bad at lying,” is all Joshua says in reply without looking up from his screen, not agreeing nor denying anything.

Jeonghan’s grin slowly turns into a warm smile as he gazes at Joshua. The handsome man sitting next to him is indeed very honest (he only lies in the most urgent situation), and that is just one of the million wonderful things Jeonghan admires from him.

He always thanks the Heaven for giving him such a best friend like Joshua.

Whenever people ask them about the start of their friendship, they will always look at each other before bursting out in laughter. Their first encounter was at Joshua’s third birthday party since their mothers were close friends, and guess what happened between the two little boys? Joshua smeared the whipped cream of his galaxy-themed birthday cake on Jeonghan’s face in annoyance because the latter unconsciously joined him in blowing out the candles. Jeonghan, feeling slightly upset for the punishment he did not think he deserved, immediately grabbed a handful of Joshua’s birthday cake and smashed it on the birthday boy’s face back. Long story short, unexpected creamy chaos ensued.

So, if anything, Joshua and Jeonghan started off as enemies.

But being born as the sons of the richest businessmen in South Korea has _forced_ Joshua and Jeonghan to get along. With the similar pattern of live they had to go through, they got no choice but to meet each other continuously from time to time, growing up together in a world of powerful and rich people.

One particular incident during their kindergarten school era marked the official start of their strong friendship.

It was a bright sunny day in August when a six-year-old Jeonghan saw a cute beagle dog running around in the park. Without thinking much, he tugged his hand off his nanny’s hold to run after the short-legged hound. Seeing that her young master was simply trying to catch the dog, the nanny just let him be and chose to sit on the small bench nearby. But it was not even twenty seconds after that when she rose up to her feet and dashed up to a crying Jeonghan. His right knee was bleeding after falling on the rough pavement because he was not looking where he was going. Out of nowhere, Joshua suddenly appeared and wrapped his arms around Jeonghan, continuously whispering s _ssh, Hannie, the pain will go away soon._

Jeonghan’s nanny curiously asked why Joshua was in the same park too, and the little boy answered that he was bored at home so he told his family driver he wanted to have a walk in the park.

All while still embracing a sobbing Jeonghan.

It was nothing special, really, but it was Jeonghan’s first time to be held by someone who was not his family members and helpers, and he would not deny that the comfort provided felt nice.

And so, the friendship began.

If they used to avoid meeting each other at all cost before that little incident—which repeatedly failed miserably, thanks to their mothers—, now it seems like they cannot live without each other. Being invited to countless events together and attending the same schools have only strengthened their friendship to the extent that they are inseparable—like the red dot and the national flag of Japan, or ice cream and its coldness. When you see Joshua in a party, of course you will see Jeonghan sticking close to him as well. And when you find Jeonghan in an event, chances are you see Joshua standing next to him, hand on the small of the older’s back.

For now, it is safe to say that they are the _bestest_ of best friends.

Some people may say that they are friends just because they come from the same level of social status. But, no, unlike those rich guys in dramas, both Joshua and Jeonghan are genuinely friendly to everyone and not unreachable. They do not have a problem in interacting with other people, but to get really close with the others… they will inwardly scream _no_ in their heads.

During their childhood, befriending other children was easy and had no risks. Toys, lunch meals, and pretty much everything was shared between each other without having any secret motives. However, as they grew up and started to understand the cruelty of this world, they also learned that sometimes people would just take them for granted. Their fathers told them to make as many friends as they could so that it would benefit them in the future, but being betrayed and used have hurt them so much, so now they choose to just stick with each other instead of trying their luck befriending everyone out there. Besides, they have been together as best friends all this time, and during their years of friendship, none of them has shown betrayal in any forms. Why looking for something better if we already have something good with us, right?

Between the two of them, Joshua is definitely the one who got hurt the most from being too nice to his friends. He was so pure and naïve back then; he thought that everything would never go wrong and people were angels in their previous lives. But, alas, his middle school friends had proved that he was only someone they would use for money and power. He was deeply hurt, yes, but it did not stop him from willing to acquaintance himself with the others.

Jeonghan, on the other hand, did not experience too much problems because he always guarded himself up and hardly let people (other than Joshua) get too close to him. Friendly, sure, but he did not give permission for anyone to simply enter his sacred bubble.

People come and go, both Joshua and Jeonghan know, and they are thankful that some people in this world can be their real friends. Mingyu and Minghao sincerely wanted to befriend Jeonghan since their day one in middle school, and the three of them are still friends until now, despite the different family backgrounds they hold (and Mingyu’s recent marital status). As for Joshua, only a classmate during his elementary school years named Jihoon, who is now an employee in his father’s company, has managed to stay as his real friend. Mingyu, Minghao, and Jihoon have proved that money and power are not always the glue in a friendship. But still, the three of them cannot have the place Joshua and Jeonghan own in each other’s heart.

A command for the passengers to turn off their devices cuts Jeonghan’s train of thoughts, and he is about to turn off his phone when a message suddenly comes in. His eyebrows meet as he sees that it is from Minghao, but he quickly taps it open nonetheless.

His loud gasp successfully gets Joshua’s attention.

“What’s wrong?” Joshua calmly asks. Jeonghan’s mouth is agape and his thumb seems frozen, hovering above his lit screen. And from the way his breath quickens, Joshua can tell that his best friend is far from being calm like he is right now. Slowly getting worried, he touches the beautiful man’s arm which seems to do the magic since Jeonghan suddenly jolts up in his seat and turns to him with a big grin on his face. “Is anything wrong? Jeonghan?”

“ _He_ is back in town!”

Joshua just blinks twice in response.

“My crush for years is here, Shua!” Jeonghan grabs the black-haired man’s shoulders and shakes him hard, no longer able to hold back his happiness. “Seungcheol is in Seoul!”

People say smiles are contagious; that is probably the reason why a bigger smile appears on Joshua’s face upon seeing a big one on Jeonghan’s face.

He does not want to admit the sudden twinge of pain in his chest, though.

In the twenty-six years of his existence, Jeonghan has only ever greatly attracted to Seungcheol, a classmate of him in high school. Choi Seungcheol has been his one and only obsession since then. There were many more dazzling males who came into Jeonghan’s life, courtesy of being the son of one of the richest people in South Korea, but none of them could be compared to Seungcheol.

Why? Because Seungcheol, in Jeonghan’s eyes, is really one of a kind.

Unlike the rich students who simply got in the prestigious school Joshua and Jeonghan attended, Seungcheol had to beat almost a thousand of poor yet genius students in the entrance test for a full scholarship there. Seungcheol proved to be a very smart student, not the brightest diamond though since Joshua was it, but he always fought for the second place with Jeonghan in all the classes.

Almost everyone in the school agreed that Seungcheol was like Joshua’s twin, giving the fact that they had some common things. Both of them were absolutely the teachers’ sweethearts with how well they did in their studies. Both of them also enjoyed singing to the point that they always got assigned to be the closing performers for their school’s anniversary. Heck, even both of them got so many admirers from simply being good looking and breathing.

But Seungcheol’s life was far different from Joshua’s.

Seungcheol and his family left Daegu for Seoul when he was twelve because his father got promoted there. However, the economic crisis hit Korea hard a few years later that the company his father worked for got bankrupt. His family moved back to Daegu and opened a small noodles restaurant for a living, while Seungcheol stayed alone in Seoul to continue his studies. Their house in Seoul was not big, but it was not small either. After his parents left, Seungcheol had to deliver milk and newspapers in the early morning on weekdays, plus he still had to work as a waiter in a well-known eatery near the school on weekends. He did everything he could for a living in such an expensive city like Seoul.

Money was Seungcheol’s major problem, but he never had issues associating with wealthy people. At least that was what Jeonghan noticed as he fanboyed over that lad during high school.

Unfortunately, Seungcheol had to go back to Daegu right after his high school graduation day because he said his mother needed him there. His father, who had become a truck driver, got into a chain car accident a day before his graduation and was bedridden. Their small noodles restaurant only made a little of money so she needed Seungcheol to help in Daegu, both mentally and physically.

Jeonghan was extremely heartbroken when he found out that his crush left. Back then he did not have the chance to ask the slightly older boy to be his boyfriend (Jeonghan’s father strictly banned him from dating before he was graduated from high school), so now that his crush is back in the same city as he is, he is excited as hell. He will do his best to get Seungcheol—damn, he is willing to do all the things Seungcheol probably expects from his dream partner. And he also cannot help but get his hopes up, knowing—more like expecting—that Joshua will help him to have Seungcheol.

He believes that things are finally looking up for him now; he, at least, hopes so.

So, yeah, the cliché love story restarts here.

“Han, what time does your internship end today?”

Ignoring the question, Jeonghan hastily opens his walk-in closet and hurriedly searches for his outfit for the day. Graduated from Seoul National University at the age of twenty-six, both of them are now interns in their fathers’ companies, but they do not follow the schedule of the normal internship. They are trained to be the next CEO, so they receive more lessons about running the business instead of running errands for the higher ups. The business administration major they had in university should help as well.

Joshua, who is dressed in baby blue dress shirt and black slacks rolls his eyes before jumping off Jeonghan’s bed to help the latter finding something to wear to the office. He always comes to Jeonghan’s house so early in the morning to wake him up, because apparently none of his maids is able to do so. After that, he will mostly be the one deciding how Jeonghan looks like for the day, considering how long his best friend can take forever just to decide if he should roll up his sleeves or not. And although they end up riding their own cars to their respective offices, they will always go together. “Probably five. Today is Mr. Kwon’s turn, and you know how strict he is. Five means five sharp.”

“Do you think we can go grab some pasta at Bumzu hyung’s place before it closes?” Jeonghan bends down to get his black shoes, the outfit Joshua has already chosen in his arms.

Everything is always easier when Joshua is around.

“Seems a bit impossible. It usually closes at five thirty, remember? Besides, today is Monday, which means the traffic is crazy,” the Korean-American man shuffles to the door as he hears some knocking from the outside. He opens it only to find Jeonghan’s teenager assistant, Chan, bringing a tray of breakfast for both of them. Although he is older, Joshua still bows his head in gratefulness for the breakfast and shuts the door behind him with his foot after he makes sure Chan has reached the stairs. He places the tray on Jeonghan’s bed and walks up to his best friend who is now putting on a silk tie. “Let’s just get pasta at Seokmin’s place, okay? It opens until nine.”

Jeonghan studies himself on the mirror, his fingers loosening his transparent hair tie a bit. He always keeps in mind to not tie his hair too tight because Joshua says it would only damage his soft ash grey hair. “But Bumzu hyung’s pasta tastes better, Shua.”

“Pastas taste the same.”

“But Seungcheol always said—”

“Then sorry, mister, you should go there yourself. Yours ends at three today, right? No need to wait for me,” Joshua impassively steps forward and reaches out to fix the stubborn, ugly knot of Jeonghan’s tie, unable to ignore the sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach at the mention of Seungcheol.

It is not that he hates Seungcheol, but there is just something that does not sit well in his heart whenever he thinks about the Daegu man. Perhaps it is because Seungcheol was always after him in every class during their high school, perhaps it is because Seungcheol was almost as talented as him too, or perhaps it is because… Joshua mentally shakes his head and slaps himself for thinking about the third possibility which involves Jeonghan.

Joshua’s fingers grab a hold of the red silky fabric as he kicks those pitiful thoughts away and, after a bit gentle pulling here and there, the knot is perfect. He slides his hand down on Jeonghan’s chest to tap it playfully as he looks up to show his cute eye-smile, the uneasy feeling caused by the mention of Seungcheol’s name being forcefully forgotten. “Done. You’re such a baby, y’know?”

“I’m your baby, love,” Jeonghan wiggles his eyebrows comically before pecking Joshua’s left cheek. “You really are my savior, Shua!”

“Well, thank you?” both of them break into soft laughter before Jeonghan remembers about the breakfast Chan has prepared. His eyes dart to see the time displayed on his digital alarm clock and he quickly grabs the sandwiches, stuffing one into Joshua’s unexpecting mouth while taking a big bite himself on the other. No doubt they are running late; but no way would he skip breakfast for he perfectly understands the importance of the morning meal. He has learned the hard way a few years ago when he fainted because of skipping breakfast and fatigue, causing Joshua to frown at him all day long. After finishing his sandwich, he empties his glass of milk in record time and is about to put the glass back in tray when Joshua takes his chin in his fingers.

Gently running his thumb on the area between his nose and upper lip to get rid of the milk stain around the other’s mouth, Joshua smiles.

Jeonghan does not want to acknowledge the sudden fluttering in his stomach at the sight. “Thank you.”

The smile widens. “No problem.”

“Let’s go!” Jeonghan exclaims, grabbing his leather suitcase in one hand and Joshua’s hand in the other before practically running to the garage, face as bright as the sun this morning. Once they reach their own cars, they hurriedly hop on and off they go to their offices.

The traffic is not that annoying in the morning; it only takes about twenty minutes for Jeonghan to reach his father’s company. He turns off the engine of his car and gives the key to the valley staff to park his baby before meeting his best friend at his own car. Joshua rolls down his window and Jeonghan leans in to bop his nose. “Be safe on your way to the office, mkay, Shua? And listen to Mrs. Kim well today! You don’t want her to tell your dad you drooled on his papers last week, right?”

Joshua just rolls his eyes at the empty threat. It is no secret that his best friend would never sell him out like that.

“Go, my prince. You’re late already,” Jeonghan lets out a chuckle, backing away from the window. “And, oh, mom said she missed you and wanted to meet you before going back to her business trip. So, dinner at mine tonight?”

“Will there be her downright delicious kimchi jigae?”

“Only if you come.”

“God, I love Mrs. Yoon.”

“She loves my dad, though,” Jeonghan just laughs out loud when his best friend furrows his eyebrows in question. His next expression when he eventually gets the jokes is something Jeonghan treasures a lot.

“By the way, you better go ask Mingyu or someone to get Bumzu hyung’s pasta with you. I’m sorry I don’t think I can accompany you today.”

“Nah, I’ll just get it tomorrow. You know no one other than you should see me high because of pasta, Shua.”

“Okay,” is all Joshua says before he steps out of his car and, because this has become their ritual, Jeonghan automatically jumps into his arms. The black haired man tightens his hug for a few seconds before letting go, not forgetting to place a quick peck on top of Jeonghan’s head. None of them feels awkward at the display of affection; they are not boyfriends, sure, but they are so used in skinships, the impact of having only each other outside their family members for years to the point that they see each other as family. Well, at least Jeonghan sees Joshua as his dearest family member. “Be good to your tutor today, okay?”

“Got it!”

 _Bye_ s, _see you later_ s, and smiles are exchanged before Jeonghan steps into the tall building and starts his schedule. The employees who pass by him bow in acknowledgement and some of them even ask if he has had breakfast or if he wants anything to eat before his schedule. He politely returns the bows and says that he is already full, promising them that he is going to have lunch with them together again today.

Everyone in Yoon Corporation adores Jeonghan so much. He is like a complete package; a polite guy, a smart learner as well, and he always presents himself in his best looks, so who would not like him? Even before his special internship began, he had gotten himself a lot of admirers already for he often came to visit his father during his teenager days. If one were to tell the employees of Yoon Corporation who worshipped him to leave a single rose on Jeonghan’s table, then maybe the he could swim in roses in his room.

But as fate would have it, no matter how many people trying their best every day to make Jeonghan like them back, the beautiful man only has his eyes set on someone.

Someone named Choi Seungcheol.

Have you ever loved someone while they had absolutely no idea about that or whatsoever? Or have you fallen for your best friend and just stuck around, watching them fall for someone else? Well, Joshua has and he knows he truly is pitiful. His undying love for Jeonghan is both hopeless and helpless, but it is not like there is something under his control that he can do, right?

He is not an ignorant friend; he could not just stand still watching Jeonghan unable to make a move on Seungcheol back then in high school. For that single reason, he always tried to set them up together.

People may think he has the biggest chance to be Jeonghan’s boyfriend, for they have been best friends for years, but he would like to argue on that. Bringing their friendship up to a whole new level called relationship is one risky move, and he does not want to gamble on that. Besides, he fully acknowledges that his love is unfortunately one-sided.

It is easy to love someone but hard to make them love us back; that is the most well-known biggest challenge of love. Joshua understands it; he understands that falling in love with someone means having to fight without knowing how to win.

He knows he has lost, though.

The clock in Wonwoo’s studio café has just struck seven in the evening when Jeonghan sighs as he swipes his thumb on his phone screen to unlock it. No, he is not tired of waiting for Joshua to come to this place after dropping his mother off at his aunt’s house; he is tired of waiting for the chance to see his crush.

Almost two months have passed by after the reunion, but Jeonghan is yet to meet Seungcheol in flesh again. Minghao informed him that his crush would be staying in Seoul for a long time because he has snatched a job here, but he added that Seungcheol did not tell him anything more about his new occupation. Seoul is not that big, though, so Jeonghan has expected that he would bump into his dearest crush in no time.

But as always, the reality says otherwise.

Seungcheol is still nowhere to be seen.

He scrolls down through his photo gallery and smiles upon seeing a photo he fancies the most. It is a photo of Seungcheol and him, taken during their high school era. In the photo, they were wearing their uniforms and had their arms draped over each other’s shoulders, smiling brightly to the camera. A small chuckle leaves Jeonghan’s lips as he recalls that Joshua was the one telling them about the pose before taking the photo. He also remembers that although he was crazy about Seungcheol, he was shy back then to ask for a photo together with his crush, thus, Joshua had to step in to help him.

So yeah, everything, again, will be easier when Joshua is around, no?

Jeonghan is about to swipe his thumb to the left to see the next photo when suddenly—

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

—his heart skips a beat at the strange yet, at the same time, familiar deep voice. He is in Wonwoo’s studio café in Apgujeong, and as far as he can remember, he does not have any acquaintance living nearby who owns that kind of voice. Creases start to form on his forehead as he internally guesses who this person might be.

“Sir, is this seat taken? There’s no more vacant seat other than this one.”

Jeonghan’s breath hitches as realization about the owner of that voice eventually hits him. Telling his heartbeat to stop going into panic mode, he slowly lifts up his head only to see a pair of familiar brown eyes he remembers by heart looking down at him. There is no one else who might sound like this man and no one else who has those mesmerizing orbs, well, no one other than— _Oh God, tell me I am not hallucinating._ “Seungcheol?”

The man clad in light brown oversized cardigan over a white v-neck t-shirt and washed out jeans standing in front of him tilts his head to the side (which gets Jeonghan squealing hard inside at the cuteness), before he lets out a gasp a couple of seconds later. His eyes are wide in great surprise. “Jeonghan?! Yoon Jeonghan?!”

“That’s me,” Jeonghan winks playfully, but deep inside he is trembling with excitement and his fanboy side has sprung to life all over again in a heartbeat. It has been years since he last saw Seungcheol in person, and right now his crush is standing right in front of him, looking hella fine as ever.

The first thing Jeonghan noticed is how Seungcheol’s cardigan is doing nothing to hide the muscles underneath. _Damn, those guns!_ The short black hair Seungcheol used to have back then has turned into reddish brown, slightly longer one, which only accentuates his facial features. His eyes are still pretty, or maybe prettier, Jeonghan cannot decide. His dimples look more prominent and it takes everything in Jeonghan’s willpower to not touch or kiss them.

All in all, Seungcheol is still extremely charismatic in Jeonghan’s eyes as he last remembered.

When the Daegu man flashes his gummy smile before bending down to put his muscular arms around him, murmuring _it has been years, Jeonghan_ , then takes a seat opposite him which is supposed to be Joshua’s, Jeonghan knows that he has just tripped and possibly fallen deeper for the man in front of him.

They are too immersed in catching up with each other’s life that they do not realize someone has been standing still just to watch them from afar. Even seconds later, they also do not realize how that someone leaves the café with a bitter smile on his face.

And, yes, that someone is no other than Joshua, who thinks that perhaps this is the time for him to let go of his most treasured possession.

_I wish you good luck, Jeonghan._

On his way home, Joshua does not even spare a glance at the pasta he bought this afternoon at Bumzu’s restaurant sitting on his passenger seat.

Joshua is not dense, definitely not.

The deadly racing heartbeat he feels whenever he looks at Jeonghan’s smile (be it the stupid or boyish one), the jolts of electricity whenever Jeonghan slots his fingers in between his own before crossing the road, or even the sudden warmth spreading from his chest up to his neck and cheeks whenever Jeonghan rests his head on his lap and reads a financial report or just a manhwa, he knows all those reactions only mean one thing—he has fallen for his best friend. He loves Jeonghan more than a friend should, although he has no idea when or how he did. Perhaps it happened when a ten year old Jeonghan stood up for him when he was being accused for spilling the milk on their classroom floor, perhaps it happened when Jeonghan took a special care of him when he was sick before his fourteenth birthday, or perhaps it happened when Jeonghan serenaded him to sleep with his not-yet-smooth voice because he would not stop crying after attending his uncle’s funeral ten years ago.

But, of course, life sucks. No surprise at that.

Joshua is really close to the person he loves, but he knows he is not the most special person to him. The best or not, he is only a _friend_.

He very much understands that he is just a friend watching everything Jeonghan does from afar, a friend who will never leave him for someone new, a friend who will never make him feel blue; a friend who has fallen for Jeonghan and realizes that he will never be loved back by him. And after all what he has been doing these years, he thinks he deserves a noble for being supportive on Jeonghan’s love life with Seungcheol while pretending to act as if he got no special feelings for the long haired man.

Joshua is truly pathetic.

When you have been friends with someone for a long time, a mutual understanding is something to be expected. When your friend makes mistake, you should not just jump into conclusion that the friendship should be over, hell no. The right thing you should do is asking your friend the reason why the mistake happened, and the right thing your friend should do is answering it honestly. That is just how you keep your friendship last long.

So when Joshua comes home with dark cloud over his head because of all the misfortunes he has had in a day, he opts to just go straight to his bathroom to take a cold shower in hope of cooling him down before throwing his tired body on his fluffy bed. He remembers his antics of avoiding Jeonghan for a whole day again so he needs to think straight now—he needs to make up an explanation just in case Jeonghan demands one (in which he is certain that his best friend would).

Checking the white digital clock sitting on his bedside table, he finds that it is just quarter past nine in the evening. He sighs, recalling that he has not met Jeonghan ever since he saw his best friend absolutely dazed upon seeing his crush again three nights ago. He did not come to his best friend’s house the previous mornings to wake him up and he even purposely did not pick up any of Jeonghan’s calls. None of the texts Jeonghan sent him gets replied, too. Joshua knows he is being embarrassingly childish, but he just cannot help it.

One thing that he has been anxiously waiting all day long is how the confrontation would turn out. He predicts that before the clock strikes midnight, Jeonghan will barge into his room to ask for a clear explanation. They are used to the habit that if they cannot contact each other for three days, then feel free to break into their room.

Taking a deep breath, Joshua lets the arguments inside him start like a long awaited war. His conscience tells him that what he is doing to Jeonghan—ignoring him all day long for three days straight—is undeniably wrong and so child-like considering the friendship they have, but his ego sternly argues that this is for the best.

 _God, what to do?_ Joshua groans as he pulls his comforter up to his nose. Heck, if he is being honest, he is still indecisive right now. He is human; he has his selfish ego to have his own happy ending. He admits he once wished for Seungcheol to never come back so that he could show Jeonghan his real heart and make a move on him, so that he could make Jeonghan realize that he is the one. But no matter how long it has been, there is no sign of Jeonghan forgetting Seungcheol. During the six years of Seungcheol’s absence, there was never a day when Jeonghan did not mention his name in his conversation with Joshua. _Seungcheol this, Seungcheol that_ ; everything around them would somehow get related to the Daegu man.

Jeonghan has been very clear that he has no intentions of letting anyone other than Seungcheol enter his heart, so why did Joshua even stupidly try in the first place? Now he feels so damn stupid for even trying to be Seungcheol’s replacement, for even trying to be someone else. Whatever he did and does, or even will do, he will never be Seungcheol—he will never get Jeonghan’s heart.

Jeonghan is still in love with Seungcheol and Joshua wants nothing but to make his best friend happy. And, as far as he knows, Jeonghan always looks the happiest when Seungcheol is with him.

Joshua surely remembers the promise he made the day after Seungcheol’s departure. He remembers he promised himself that he would try as hard as he could to always be there when Jeonghan needed someone, to always be the strong one, to always give Jeonghan everything so that his precious best friend would fall for him and everything about Seungcheol would be long forgotten.

But Joshua also remembers something else; he remembers he said to himself that if Seungcheol ever came back to Seoul and Jeonghan’s life, then he would be more than willing to go. The day the two men would meet again would be the day he would give up.

Because if they meet again, then they are fated to be together—that is what Joshua has been keeping in mind all this time.

Six years of praying for Jeonghan to see him as more than friend, six years of hinting his non-platonic love for Jeonghan—everything has crumbled down now after that faithful night when Jeonghan met his crush.

Seungcheol is back, Jeonghan still has feelings for him, and Joshua is Jeonghan’s best friend who has fallen in love with the latter. If he applies the rules of how to be a good friend to this case, then he has no choice but to support Jeonghan and neglect his own feelings, right? Yes, that should be right.

Loving someone means we only want the best for them even if it means swallowing the sad reality that the best is not us. That is why before Joshua pulls comforter over his head and goes to his dreamland (he does not care if Jeonghan comes tonight or not), he has decided something. And as his gaze falls on the friendship bracelet Jeonghan bought for him three years ago circling his left wrist, he knows his decision will be the best for the two of them.

He is going to sacrifice his feelings for Jeonghan’s happiness; he is determined to get Jeonghan and Seungcheol to be together while slowly walking out of Jeonghan’s life, simply because he does not want to bear the pain of watching his best friend dating Seungcheol later on. He treasures his best friend so much to even care about his own happiness, but protecting his heart from being shattered into smaller pieces is not wrong, no?

Although sleepiness has not greeted him yet, Joshua commands his eyelids to drop. He needs to prevent his stubborn tears from escaping his closed eyes. _You can do this, Joshua._

The sound of thunder and the pitter patter of rain are all Joshua hears once he wakes up the next morning, not the usual chirp of little birds standing on the trees nearby. Frowning, he gets up from his bed and shuffles to open his curtains, and yes, it is indeed raining.

Lucky for him, today is Sunday.

 _I miss Jeonghan._ Joshua heaves out a sigh as he lies on his bed again. Turning on his side, his eyes follow the raindrops sliding down the glass of his window and, immediately, flashes of the events yesterday coming up in his head. Just right when the memory of how he had to walk to the bus shelter to go home, he feels a thud on his upper back, making his body tense.

Someone is lying down behind him. _Why didn’t I hear any footsteps?_

The shock is not long, though, before he visibly relaxes as his nose catches the familiar fresh aftershave scent. He wordlessly rolls over and, as he guessed, Jeonghan is on the bed with him. One look and he can tell that Jeonghan is stressed out.

Joshua, remembering his newly made resolution, decides to spend his remaining time well. He needs to gather as many intimate moments with his best friend as he can before he succeeds in his mission—his mission to vanish from his best friend’s life after making Jeonghan and Seungcheol dating.

“Good morning, Shua,” the smile on Jeonghan’s face is wobbly. “I missed you.”

Choosing not to answer verbally, Joshua lifts his arm up, a blatant invitation for the other man to come closer. So come closer Jeonghan does. He buries his face on the crook of Joshua’s neck, latching onto him like his life depended on it. It is not even ten seconds when Joshua feels the wetness on his sensitive skin around his neck and shoulder. “Jeonghan?”

He only receives a weak _hmm_ in return from the one in his arms before said man lowers down his face to snuggle on his sweater covered chest. His eyebrows shoot up at the action. Jeonghan has never been like this. Something must be wrong. “Han?”

Another hum is the only answer given.

Joshua does not know what it is yet, but his heart strongly agrees that something is off. The reason? Yoon Jeonghan does not give non-word answer in reply. “Yoon—”

“I don’t want to force you to tell me what happened—” Jeonghan chokes on what is probably his tears. “and what’s happening, but I hope you know you owe me an explanation, Shua, and I’m waiting.”

The silence that follows after is expected, though, since both of them can feel the growing tension in the air. Joshua feels bad and has so many things running in his head he wants to tell to Jeonghan (only some of them, though), but he does not know where to start and which topic to select.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan itches to just lure the Korean-American man out to spill the bean, but at the same time he does not want to step over the line. That is just how they are; privacy is highly respected in their friendship.

“So… Seungcheol is really back, hm?” Joshua eventually begins, testing the water. If Jeonghan still insists on asking for an explanation about his absence for the past few days even after he brought up the issue about Seungcheol, then he will just have to lie.

Jeonghan slightly narrows his eyes at the random question, but upon registering the mention of the thief of his heart’s name in his head, he automatically beams up. No trace of sadness is left on his face. Oh, the thing Seungcheol does to him. “Yes! And I’ve met him, too! Like, finally.”

 _I know._ Joshua’s smile does not reach his eyes, but he hopes the man in his arms does not notice it. “Really? That’s good, then.”

“We met at Wonwoo’s studio café, Shua. We talked and talked and talked until Wonwoo personally shooed us away because he needed to lock the place,” Jeonghan chuckles at the memory, unaware that Joshua has just slightly scooted away from him.

_You don’t remember that we were supposed to meet that night?_

“Oh! I managed to know Seungcheol’s address, too! And guess what, he actually lives close to your father’s company, Shua. Do you remember Soonyoung? The captain of our school’s bowling team? Seungcheol lives with him.”

A monotone _oh_ is all Joshua mutters because, really, what is he supposed to say?

“Ah, ah, ah! Another surprise is…” Jeonghan bits his lower lip, eyes twinkling in sheer excitement. He always transforms into a happy kid whenever he talks about Seungcheol to Joshua. “He works at Bumzu hyung’s hotel! He helps the chefs in the kitchen, Shua. I bet he looks attractive in his white kitchen uniform.”

Joshua does not say anything anymore, in fear of ruining the beautiful view he is seeing right now. Jeonghan’s otherworldly angelic face is glowing in pure adoration as he continues to tell him more and more information about Seungcheol including how Seungcheol accepted his offer to have lunch together whenever the Daegu man has the time to. And if he ever had doubts of his decision before, Joshua is one hundred percent sure that what he has decided is the best option out there. _I should make it happen faster._

“I hope I can win Seungcheol’s heart, Shua,” Jeonghan wishfully says at the end of his story, casually pushing himself closer to Joshua’s chest again. Once he tucks his head under his best friend’s chin, he lifts his hand up to mindlessly draw random patterns on Joshua’s clothed chest. “because, really, I think—no, I _know_ I’m so in love with him. I’m twenty six, and I know I’m over the crushing phase. I know I love Seungcheol with all my heart, Shua. Six years of not seeing him yet I never forgot him, not even for one minute. If anything, I think my love for him is growing bigger. Do you know there is a saying that if you can’t get someone out of your head, maybe they’re supposed to be there?”

Only the silence can be heard.

“Oh God, I hope he returns my feelings.”

 _I hope he doesn’t_. “…He will. You’re a good man, Jeonghan,” Joshua’s voice slightly cracks in the end of his sentence as he feels the sting in his eyes, but he wills himself to not even let a tear slip out.

“Really?” Jeonghan confirms, gently pulling away and props his head on his open palm. When Joshua looks down at him and gives him a fake assuring nod, he flashes a wide smile, definitely not aware of how unusually glazy Joshua’s brown eyes are. “Oh, Shua, you have no idea how thankful I am for having someone so positive like you in my life. You really are my holy source of encouragement.”

“Stop being cheesy, you doofus.” _I should be the one thanking the Heavens for letting me find you._

“Your future spouse must be so lucky to have you, I’m sure of it. You’re nice, smart, strong…”

_That is me with you, you dumb._

“You’re caring, independent, and—God, you have everything people want from their partner. You’re everyone’s dream man, Joshua Hong.”

 _But, I’m obviously not the one you want._ “You can’t predict the future, though. Who knows I might change someday. And sorry, Mr. Perfect, unlike you I’m not that perfect.”

“Nah, I know you’ll never change. You were an angel in your previous life, the kindest one at that, and you still are. You’re the perfect son, the perfect friend, the perfect future husband, the—”

“Stop talking.” _Because it hurts hearing your words._

“Fine, Your Highness,” Jeonghan playfully rolls his eyes before lying on his back again and uses Joshua’s arm as his pillow. He has this dreamy look on his face in which Joshua guesses to have something to do with Seungcheol since the latter is the one they have been talking about. “The weather is so nice for a cuddling session, isn’t it?”

“You want to cuddle with Seungcheol.”

Jeonghan instantly shows his best friend an amused look, one that says _how did you know?,_ before chuckling and curling up on Joshua’s side. “Shua?”

“Hm?”

“If this is not too much to ask,” Jeonghan breathes against the smaller man’s shoulder. “help me to get Seungcheol? You know sometimes I’m too stupid for my own good. I have zero experience in courting someone.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, young prince, but I myself have never been in a relationship before, mind you,” now it is Joshua’s turn to roll his eyes. “But, yeah, I’ll help you to win your dream man’s heart. I got you two closer in high school, so I think being the cupid again this time is not a hard task. We’ve matured, so the plans should be awesomely smooth now.” _Because that’s what I’m planning to do, too._

Right now, Jeonghan has totally forgotten about his initial motive of coming to Joshua’s house, which is to know the reason why his best friend went missing for the past few days. _Seungcheol, Seungcheol,_ and _Seungcheol_ are the only things on his mind at this very moment. Not thinking about the possible impact on his best friend’s fragile heart, he suddenly looms over the other on the bed and gives him a bone-crushing hug, planting kisses everywhere on his face. “Oh, God, I love you, Shua!”

Nobody understands how much Joshua wants to cry at the irony.


End file.
